Gender.

Okay, I want to make a long, somewhat lame post about how I feel about my gender, without referencing anything, without being like, "this post is how I feel."

I'd like to first say that I'm still very confused.  This is a mostly label-free post, just how I FEEL.

I've never felt particularly feminine in my life.  Dresses, the color pink, playing house, Barbies, glitter, make-up, dressing up girly for Halloween, even jewelry - typically feminine things have never really been me.

But at the same time, I wasn't really..butch.  I liked playing in the dirt, worms, dinosaurs, bugs, sports, dark/boy colors Pokemon, I dress like a boy, I like wearing boxers, I only wear necklaces and such that mean something to me, and I was always the dog when we played house, I had a majority more male friends than female.  Being feminine is work for me.  I part my hair a different way when I don't feel like I have to look pretty.

But I've also never liked guns/weapons/fighting, cars, tools, or watching sports (more playing them.), which is also typically masculine.

I like(d) stuffed animals, my littlest pet shops - I was an animal kid.  Also, a huge dino kid.  I like nail polish sometimes and chick flicks.  I like a lot of what could be considered more girly music, but also more rock/masculine music, if music must have a gender.  I'm going to die at the ball walking in heels.  I'm not one to victimize the female gender - I  think boys feel just as much pain, and I'll stand up for that.  I'm not graceful, nor elegant.  Looking like a girl is WORK for me.

So where does that leave me?
A confused tomboy that feels better in boxers and cargo shorts?
A girl who is pushing the limits to much?

I'm not transgender, but I'm not cisgendered.  I'm in the in between somewhere, the gray space, confused.  Because I DO like my girl anatomy..sort of.  I'm comfortable with below the belt, I like what truly defines me as a girl.  But having breasts makes me uncomfortable.  I'd like to bind them, cut my hair, and pass as a boy sometimes.
I think if I'd been born a boy, I'd like it.
The sexual aspects, the gender role.
I might be a fairly emotional/feminine boy..
Like now I am a fairly masculine girl.
It's weird, and I'm very in between, but happy with being a girl.

I think pangender is actually what I feel fits best.

Intro.

My name is Luna.


I spend too much a lot of time thinking about what's right, religion, the what-ifs, feminism, my gender, and a handful of undiagnosed mental disorders.


I'm in love.


With a boy, with music, and with writing.


I'm trapped inside the confines of my own mind.


This blog will just be opinions and posts about various things.


I'm not witty, sorry in advance.


I just want to be heard.